twenty-two month toddler

i've had to come to the realization that in two months i will be the mommy of a two year old little boy.  not a baby anymore.  i'm not sure exactly how i feel about this.  i love all the new things we get to experience with him.  but i miss those quiet baby moments with him too.  i love the adventure we see in his eyes every time there's something new and exciting happening, and let's face it that is every day for him.  but the mommy inside is desperately trying to hang on to her little baby boy.  the one who instantly brought more love into our home then we ever thought possible.  the one who instantly changed our lives in the most indescribable way possible.  for the better of course.  before he was born i couldn't imagine life with him and now i could never imagine life without him.

he is our farf.  our awesome little boy.  our almost two year old.  i imagine that i will go through this "oh my god he's how old?" every year now.  other mom's including my own have said this to me.  and now i finally understand what they mean.

over the last two months both rob and i have noticed a change in liam.  he's becoming a little boy.  his appearance is starting to lose that "baby" look.  he is full of curiosity and will stop at nothing to go and check things out.  he is mr. chatter box all the time.  seriously, this kid has an opinion or something to say about everything.  guess he takes after his mom.  his vocabulary has exploded.  he picks up new words every minute second it seems.  sometimes he gets them wrong.  like calling a tree an elv-a-phant (elephant).  or a truck a tractor.  but we know what he means.  he's got his body parts down pat. and loves making animal noises in the bath tub.  his current favourite being a chicken.  buck buck buck.

and he's growing.  wow is is growing.  i've finally put away all of his twelve month clothing and we're even moving into some of his 2t stuff.  ya it's a little big, but whatevs.  he'll grow into it.  as a result of being almost two, we're starting to see some of his eating habits change.  like he'll only eat certain things.  lately he's been refusing what we're having for dinner.  with me finally caving one night last week and giving him leftover french toast, instead of asparagus and grilled pork.  he's was fine with that.  sometimes he won't touch his food until we sit with him at the table.  sometimes he'll devour his meal and demand some of ours.  it's always a gamble.

we've also moved into dr. jekyll and mr. hyde territory.  i don't know how else to explain it.  one minute we're happily playing with his cars and the next it's like the world is ending.  one minute he loves mommy or daddy the next we're throwing things or hitting them.  i know it's just a phase and he'll move out of it.  i know that all children need to go through this to begin to understand their emotions.  but shit this is hard.  and not just for us.  i can't imagine what it must be like for him.  he doesn't even understand the emotions. and least we do and can try and explain it after it's over.  be there for the hugs and wiping away of tears.  and of course the playing that happens again.  until the next time.

but two.  my son will be two in two months.  and i love absolutely everything we go through.  even the tantrums, after they're over.  i love the hugs, snuggles, story time, bath time, clicks into the car seat, sharing of snacks, the "no mine", the wet kisses, the tears, the squeals of laughter, the curiosity, and the joy that he brings to my life everyday.  i'm going to savour these last two months i have with my little man who is still just one.  and dream of the adventures we'll have with our little man who will be two.  i love you liam.  now.  always.  forever.